Making Memories.

reel

Been quite awhile since I had a cathartic write. A lot has gone on, but at the same time nothing has gone on. Mum doesn’t know that all of us kids and grand kids know she’s got a ‘use by’, having said that , one grand kid doesn’t actually know- her mum took her interstate years ago and she’s had no contact with her dad ( my little brother) she’s let me follow her on instagram so at least i have a way of contacting her if/when it’s necessary.

Christmas Day was 8/9 parts great. My 2 brothers, little sister and her husband along with mum came for a late lunch and dinner. We feasted and drank too much; well, again, 8/9 of us drank too much. My big brother insisted on driving, refused to relax, looks awful in the family photos and abused me for taking photos with my new selfie stick!! Apart from that, if that was mum’s last Christmas, as we’ve been told, it was a pretty good one. I really got on well with my little brother, which is such a gift as we’ve never been very close. Mum is trying hard to make sure I’ve forgiven my big brother as she’s clearly worried about him after she goes. He’s a total dick but I’ll never leave him alone at Christmas.

It’s funny in a way, but her biggest cause of pain and discomfort is her arthritic knee, not her metastatic cancer! We’ve been out for lunch since Christmas, had her down for lunch and a movie and lots of ‘phone calls. She’s keeping up a very brave front and is a great role model for us all.

My little sister struggles with it all as she lives away and can’t maintain the very easy contact that the other 3 of us can. She’ll be ok though, because like me, she is her mother’s daughter and we cope, as my daughter will too as she inherits our strong genes.

I’m struggling with my son also moving interstate in a couple of weeks. Have you seen the movie “Boyhood’? That really struck a cord with me, at the end when the son moved out. I’m really going to miss the afternoon coffee meets he, mum and I have during the working week.

Her next oncology appointment is 22nd January and I’ll be interstate helping my son move, so I’ve asked her if she’d like to change it or if she’s happy with my med student daughter taking her- she’s thinking on it.

For the meantime, I’m on summer holidays and have lots of time to make memories with my mum.

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A moment’s calm…..

imageThis is not in chronological order from the last entry but today was a roller coaster. My little sister flew in to join us today to get the results of Monday’s PET scan. Again my digestive system let me down and I felt positively nauseous from the moment I woke up. We made small talk over coffee and during our time in the waiting room. My sister and I played ‘ Perfect Match’ where we looked at couples and decided if they were made for each other or not. Mum was clearly nervous, quite quiet and at times short with us. After a 70 minute wait mum’s name was called. I was a bit wobbly on my feet but pulled myself together and followed the Dr in. Surpringly we were all relieved to hear that there were mets in mum’s lung and liver- we’d all been expecting an even further spread. Our mood was much lighter than last week when we’d learned there were satellite tumours around the original site and a met in a lymph gland. We were all really down after that. So Gerry, our doctor said she’d do a referral to an oncologist- we requested Rosie who has an outstanding reputation with melanoma. Gerry explained surgery was unlikely but we all chose to ignore the implications of that statement and left feeling ok. Mum chose our lunch venue and all was well. We spent the afternoon in my backyard before heading to the airport for Belinda’s flight home. Mum was happy- if dad was still alive today it would have been their 54th wedding anniversary: mum believed dad was watching over her and had even made a tree flower a month early for her💐. I came home happy, feeling like we had a reprieve for awhile anyway. Then I spoke to my med student daughter, she seemed down and wasn’t sharing my joy. I did a bit of research and discovered just how shit today’s news actually was: 4-12 months is the prognosis. FAAAAAARRRRRRKKKKK!!!!!!